Life

 

Life.
What is life? what are you doing in life? and the most important is.. who you really are in this life?

These question keep haunting me these several days. When i finally realize what i really want, what i really want to do and love. It's just so relief when you actually can back to be someone that you used to be, stop pretending to be someone that isn't you just to fit into the 'normal' society, stop act like you enjoy every single bullshits that happen, pretending to be care about what's really going on around you, and force yourself to feel something that you shouldn't feel. i didn't mean that i was a fake all the time but... i don't know why, since the first time i got into high school i make my own promise to be someone better, someone who cares about the others, someone who understand the situation around her and someone who can be accepted in society without being different.
But i think, what im just looking for all this time is just "Happiness" and did i find the happiness with that way? with changing myself to be somebody else? no!
i don't say that changing is a bad thing, it's a good thing anyway. but sometimes you shouldn't change something in yourself just because other people ask you to do so, or you think poeple's gonna think so, sometimes the not-really-good-attitide you have in you is the only thing which make you keep sane and alive until this time.

I got a lot things to tell on my mind right now but i don't know how to tell it. i think i just need a time to understand all of this.

But whatever happen. i enjoy my life eventually :) because the life is beautiful just the way it is